Few Poems written by Me:

Memories:

Days have gone for attending lectures,
Complaining about workload of assignments and tired gestures,

Those moments of unity and having meals togather,
Those small fights and feeling the extreme wheather,

Those night-walks ,photo sessions and gossips,
Nothing from my memory slips.

The lecutres and labs prolonging my time to study,
Still I have't allowed myself to be so nerdy.

Late nights at hostel with various reasons,
Does't give me sleep today even with cushions.

Studying for Exams and complaining about time,
Prevailing holidays are hurting my mind.

Moments spent with friends are very precious,
Happy and sad times always remains magnanimous.

Oh! God keep all my friends safe and healthy,
Give them all needed to keep them a sublunary and spirtually wealthy.

Missing you:

Day in and day out i remember you,
U are even precious than diamond,aren't u?

Flowers around red, purple, yellow and blue,
But something is missing and tht is u.

The environment here is so fresh and cool,
But it seems that nature is trying to make me fool.

Pretty morning appears with the presence of sunrays and dew drops,
Reminds me the way u lit my life crops.

The distance between us makes u so far,
But remember that you will always be in my heart.

Day in and day out i remember you,
U are even precious than diamond,aren't u?

Elucidation about my Individualism:

when hellions try to splatter torment on me like a sword,
i don't worry as i feel benedictive b'coz of god.

When there is darkness all around without even a spark of light,
i don't worry b'coz i feel illuminated by my insight.

When others seems skeptic about my offbeat talents,
i don't worry as i feel sanguine b'coz of my parents.

When the world changes towards me it's trends,
i don't worry as i feel secured b'coz of my friends.

when the situations offends my mindset for torture,
i don't worry as i feeling like smiling b'coz of the beauty of nature.

Feeling in Love

I asked the winds which were cool and heavenly today to blow forever,
my ears refused to hear any other words except the once u made me hear.

The words which found their way from ur mouth to evolve,
Forces me to get inside u and make myself disslove.

The way u entered into my life and touched my soul,
Confirms me to not have anything else except you as the whole.

The way u look and explain me,
Makes all my fears go free.

Your stories, glances and hugs,
Determines me to have in u most firm trust.

I asked the winds which were cool and heavenly today to blow forever,
my ears refused to hear any other words except the once u made me hear.

---

LIFE IS UNPREDICTABLE ....which makes it exciting to live:::

Life is really unpredictable,at times we can't believe how things change so capricoiusly.Few chapters in my life are due to such characterstics of life. Initially, I feel bad but as time moves on things change and things become alright.I think I should correct myself as things don't change but my vista towards them changed,as it has been say by Shakesphere:

"Nothing in this world is good or bad until or unless you think it so."

Well, chapters in the book of life keep on adding and this makes the life so exciting and amazing to live.Everytime with each new chapter there are so many things to learn.So many different people to meet. Well, till now from all the chapters I have learnt atleast one thing, and that is to live for each moment. Each moment is precious once gone can't get it back.

Yesterday, I was going through all the photographs of my DA-IICT's life section. All the pictures were with full of good memories. At that time I noticed 1 thing, that is pictures only cover good memories.The sad part are never bieng photographed. So, here I got to learn to forget and throw away sad parts of life and walk with all good memories which would also shortlist your list of people whom you don't get along with.Everybody is right at their point but it's just one can't please all people at the same time.It's upto us to make the right choice to please the best ones. Oops!! people going through my blog might find thid post a bit boring but right now I am really feeling da Blues and trying to come out of it, so thought to write whatever is comming in my mind.

"Capture each moment with smile and happiness, kya pata kal ho na ho"...

Lack Of Moral Values In Todays Educated Generation:

Today the level of education and the scope of knowledge has incresed upto a great extent when it is being compared to a previous time slot.Well, that is a good sign but at the same time we are losing a very important edge.This important edge is moral values. The current generation is always in a way to find short-cuts. The whole approach has been changed to the quantitave aspect instead of being towards qualitative aspect.

I am currently studying a Masters course in one of the premiere institue of the country.Being a Master's student, there should be some kind of responsiblity and matuarity which I see lacking in my collegues. Being in the good institute I was expecting a lot of qualitativly competative environment but at the end of the course I am very disappointed by the quality of major of my collegues.Here, people have just one focus of getting good grades though they don't really mind how they get these grades as they are achieved by majority of them through wrong means. The worst part is their innerself don't even feel guilty about it, instead they feel proud of doing such things. It's not at all the fault of the institute or the faculties.The give their best but this whole loop-hole is on the student's side. They take the advantage of unity-approach in a wrong sense.Sometimes even the faculties are helpless as they can't take any action when 85-90% of the student unite to do wrong things.Today, I am really upset. Today an assignment which was't being done by students in 3 weeks and even the students who have no idea about it's concepts are able to make and show the assignment in just 10 mins.What are these students going to give to industry.

Even leaving about the academic aspects when I look at the overall personal behaviour of my peers , I again get disappionted. There are many things which are expected as a civilian behaviour and from a matured and literate person. When there is a facility of dustbins available at evrry 30 steps you walk still people throw rubbish here and there. The plate disposal is just 10-20 steps away still the plates and other remains are kept back on the dining table even after knowing that it is a self-service strategy.People can walk to the counters to order and collect food but they don't have sense to put their plates after eating to the plate disposal facility from the same counter they collected.When it comes to honesty, the situation is horrible. People don't care to pay back the money to the shop owner or other related person if he forgets to bill out for the orders. They think as it is an achievement of saving money. Sometimes people just expliot friends monetarily, emotionally and through other means. Most of the people have just" take" mentality without even a drop if "give" mentality.

Most of the relations here materialistic oriented without any emotional bondings. There are people who say different things and behave differently. There many hypocrates. The people here are too selfish. There are people here who are not fair at all in their judgements. They don't realize the responsibility of the positions alloted to them.When told to give fair evaluations of the other peers they bring in the emotional aspect. Well, evaluations is one of the important responsiblity which can decide the quality that is to be given as an output.When loking at the corporate today, major quality drawbacks have their deep roots in their unfair evaluations at early stages.People here pretend a lot for showing how hard they work but actually they themselves don't evaluate how much actual qualitative work is being done. There is so much of show-offs.

People here easily lie but are always scared to utter even a single word of truth. People feel so comfortable in getting corrupted.Most of the people today have no directions, no principles and no morale.They have justone destination and that is just money.People here are so hollow from inside.What is the use of so much money, good clothes and lifestyle when it comes majorly at the cost of other's happiness or killing your self-esteems, self-respect etc. Sometimes I wonder how easily people sleep after all these things.They curse nation's stituations but don't put their own effort to improve it's condition. They always demand about their rights but don't even dare to think about how many duties they have fulfilled.People here are educated but even lower then illitrates.

Well, but amongst all of these bad people there are very few people who are really qualitative and very much moralistic and self-esteemed. Well, I can't change everybody but i hope that this might impact atlest one to even improve for one aspect then also i will feel that I have done some duty towards social development in making a cleaner society.To people who do not speak againgst wrong things but yet do not personally support yet get accept the wrong things due to environmental and societal pressure i would like to reveal a quote which motivated me a lot:
" By saying yes to every unimportant thing you are saying no to some important thing"

This is a quote by Robin Sharma the author of 'The Monk who sold his Ferrari' in his other book 'The Greatness Success'.

Think deeply it really means and says a lot.

Longing to be at home yet sometimes running away from it:

I just returned today after the diwali break at home.It's always really good to be home.For me home is the place where time spent acts like medicines for the stress or over-loaded mental state. It's always been so soothing place that it mollifies the bitterness which comes with friends or collegues in the environment I live.After being at home I forget all the differences that had come in last passage of time.The lovely food cooked by mamma....OH!! I REALLLLLLLLYYYY MISS THAT FOOD. The moments spent with daddy, mamma and brother at night after dinner on the jula, the life lessons from mama and dad,the pieces of advise for my brother's studies, the plans for family dinner,the concern of mamma and dad for my health and lifestyle,mamma's feeling for making me all sorts of food items as if i m not getting nething at hostel,few annecdotes from dad, conversations regarding our old memories, dad making us realize how lucky we are geting everything we want and thus teaching us to have satisfaction and not to demand unnecessary things in the prayar to god,mamma always making me realize that I am the best daughter she can ever get, helping out in cleaning the house, ligting diyas in diwali and the whole ambience of the environment around with all houses having their compounds lightened up with diyas, the entrances with rangolis, the get-to-gathers with neighbhoursand friends and relatives, that sound sleep on my bed at house, that 20 mins jogging with dad in the morning, that realization which parents give that they are always there so not to worry much,that ealry morning baths and making swastiks in the door entrance in diwali times, decorationg my flower vase and a flower designer bowl with flowers from my little garden every morning; oh I really miss my home.I always long to be there.But all good things are short-lived similarly is this period for me.Now, My visits will be even more infrquent as my job is in B'glore.


Well, all good things of home comes with one bad thing which i really hate.Whenever I go home, always ther is atleast one relative's visit scheduled.It's not that i don't like it, but frankly speaking I am a less social human-being when it comes to Uncles and Aunts. The major reason is that they are the people who are most worried about my marriage.I hate it.They always have one and only topic of match-fixing.Though my parents say no for now,yet they still keep on explaining them that it's now a high-time.That's why I feel running away from home when my relatives come home.Why don't they leave me and my family alone?Why don't they understand that career carries more priority in our family?Why they always have a problem when a girl studies more?Why they always try to get girls married earlier then guys?Why don't they understand our stage?Why they always think that a girl after 20 should get married as soon as possible though she is mentally not prepared?Why they interfere in our family's personal life?Why do they try to impose their orthodox thinking on us?

Thanks a lot to this semi-nuclear family system in INDIA. I feel sometimes lost in the discussions with relatives as I am less aqquainted with their thinking and life-styles.Most of my relatives boast a lot about their work and knowledge and the truth is always around 20% in it.
Well, but for short time-slots with them i can't give away my longing for home. Seriously, If you are searching for heaven on earth then go to your home.You will find no place so soothing and comfortable as your home.

Everything Happens for a Reason:

Today was a very busy day as since morning I was just into my work. It's like 2:00 at night that I m getting time to relax. From morning itself, labs, lectures and the whole of the remaining time in preparing thr SRS document of the project. When I started the document, I thought that our strategy was wrong of making whole document by a pair of person out of a team of 10 members. Instead, I thought that the strategy followed by the other groups of dividing the parts of the document amongst the group members was a better idea. But, when I am reaching now almost at the end of the document I really feel that whatever strategy we decided was better than others in my perspective, as the quality, flow and consistency of the document is maintained thourghout and no effort and headache of integration of parts and to review for making sure about non-conflicting statements checks. And, at the end the quality of the document and the work satisfaction feeling is really priceless for me. Thus, today I observed the effect of famous saying "Whatever Happens, Happens for Good".

I also had negative outcomes in relationships from few days back and was feeling guilty for the thought that may be I might have committed some fault or the situations were faulty for which I did'nt like to accept the things happened. As, I don't like hurting and break-ups in realtions. So, I was bit upset for spoling few of my relations in the last fortnight or so. But then now when I get to find some few hidden and hard-to-believe realities of those people with whom my relations were spoiled, I feel thankful to god for whatever the results he had destined to those realtions.

I now even more confidently believe "Whatever Happens,Happens for the Good".

God always take care of our all things and keeping in mind the risk factors, he has writes our destiny. When things happen which are not being expected by us, we blame and curse the moments and situations of that time.But, when in future you look back, you will feel that what had happened was perfectly sequenced to get you in a good state. And the moments which you had cursed becomes kind of blessings. Well, it's easy to write and suggest that "All things happens for a reason which always lead to some good in future", but when time really tests us, we fail.But from now onwardsIi will try my best for not cursing any situations though bad one and would find some good reward which might have been a target of long-term vision of god. As, cursing is not going to change the destiny for me.

Well here I remeber a very effective quote which has changed my thing a lot:

"I can't choose how I feel, but I can choose what I do about it."

Just change in approach and feel happy and good from inside.It has really worked for me.

Discovering Peace:

Today, after many days i went to a temple which is almost 5 and 1/2 km from my institute. Such a beutiful place. It is on the bank of sabarmati and has a crystal shivling.

Found the place really peaceful as well as beautiful. I needed this kind of break from my daily routine. Sometimes I feel so much lucky to be in such a beautiful campus, but pity my lifestlye here which does not give place to some time slot in which i can enjoy the beauty of such a pretty campus.

Two days before i got my first job's offer letter. We are 29 students from the class placed in the same company.Everybody was excited to get the letter, but i did't feel that happiness. At night in the bed i was thinking on this issue. Why i did't feel happy about my first job? Infact, it's an excellent company with a good pay and nice working evironment, but then still why i was not feeling that happiness which all my peers felt. May be this is not what i wanted, and actually that's true. I wanted to do my M.B.A. and not job right now. But, due to few factors it is postponed by 1 year. Another reson for not being happy was the kind of work which i will have to do. Actually, I am good at programming but i don't like it. I want to go on the management and designing side. But, for start this is too much to expect. I feel really confused and loaded by this issue upto certain extent.

Well, but after visiting the temple, i kind of feel bit light from inside. Something inside me is ensuring me that I will deal out with everything and will successfully reach to my destined target. I think such kind of visits are neccesary for me as i don't know what but something really boosts up my moral after such visits.

The feeling inside me right now is like:

"One is not alone, there is always some unkown strong power that guides you in tough and confusing times."

work and work whole day:

Today was a really busy day. Out from my room since morning 10:00 and now entering at 1:00 am. well, yesterday night I passed through a big breaking phase. Well, but then always work makes me forget all pains. So, was really good day for me working all the time. Infact, working like this gives me a lot of satisfaction. It always makes me feel that i did something worthful in the day and did't waste it. Well, the best part of the work was in the eveing.In our homework problem, we were given security protocols to attack which is a really exciting task for me. I love brain-storming work rather then do-as-directed kind of work.

In the morning it was installation of globus andthen security and did't even realize how the day went. but at the end of the day happy for efficiently utilizing my time.Moreover, it's a good sign of me comming back to my regular routine.

I would like to make a statement here. "Work is the best medicine to come out of difficult emotional breakdowns".

On the verge comming out of difficult phase:

Life is really unpredictable, and just the lesson is you need to move along.There are times when things and situations seem to be steady but well sudden turns makes you spell bound.
There is no one to complain to about it, and moreover there is no point in complaining.

I was so confused about what to do next.This is my second last semester, and the last one will be training. Now, it's a high time to decide.I have already got a job, but was still in a dilema whether to go for it or not. According to my dad, 1 yr of job experience and then M.B.A. would be a better choice. Acoording to my mamma, going for M.B.A. straight away will be more preferable.Oh! god I m so confused. But evaluating the current situation, I am not at all in the state right now to give the C.A.T. this time.I am so not prepared.So, well the decision is not that difficult as would go for C.A.T. next year.

I had lost focus since few weeks. The situations had got me diverted from my C.A.T. prep.Suffered from emotional breakdowns a lot, feeling lonely, feeling home-sick etc...Was't able to concentrate much in my work. Well, being quite a senti girl, relationsips have a lot of importance to me. Any changes in it affects my mindset a lot. Though by observing me from a distance won't make one even have a glimpse of the depressing state I pass through, but deep within my heart i m really sad and have been broken. I try to remain normal each day and hide my sorrows but it becomes really difficult at times. At the end of each day end up in breaking down by that incident. But, surely I am in improved conditions then few days back.Thanks a lot to my friends who try to keep me busy by forcefully involving in the discussions and try to crack silliest joke for just a smile on my face. On top of all this the best part is the suggestions they give me to come out of this stage.Well, I have almost reached quite nearer to the end of this situation with higher moralistic approach on positive side and the whole hearted support of friends.
Now, when I think of the past few weeks, I feel so annoyed by myself by just wasting out my time like this on things for which we can not change. Well, my biggest weakness is i am very emotionally bound. That is why I generally try take a lot of time to get attached with people but then when I get close to them I give my 100% in it. I need to improve my this weakness. I am so dumb at times getting out of focus for some reasons which are not in my hands to change.This is a kinda loss as I lost my few weeks which were really important.The importance of those weeks I realise now, as i have already missed the time for giving my C.A.T. this year. Well, but still god has left an option out for me.

I hope from this lesson of life I will try to be careful with myself. Good lesson from life. I feel complaining that 'why this happened to me? why i was chosen to suffer like this?'. But then it is like complains are of no use. No changes in the situations. It's much better to come out and get myself engaged in work and keep myself busy with it to forget about it.It's easy to say but difficult to execute. Yeah, difficult but not impossible. Now, no more complaining. Just taking positive outcome of it. I should take it as a lesson of life, pointer to weakness and trigger to make me learn to come out of the situations fast and move along with time. Well, the best thing happened in all odds was, I took 3 courses instead of my 2 electives just to keep myself busy,as once i work nothing in the world can create impact on me. So, it will add a great amount of knowledge of 'Data Mining' which to me is an important field for me as my dream is to become manager. And when computers can predict market trens and few dicision making factors is a lot of more helpful task. My classmates consider me stupid taking all the 3 subjects but somehow i don't feel that i have done a mistake. Everytime I attend the class and there is a discussion about the subjects I feel happy from inside as i am able to contribute on all the things . Just a little bit of more time devotion required, which is not so problematic as I do waste quite a lot of time here and there.

"Whatever happens happens for good", just thinking that I have changed my apporoach. I have to move on and that to with a smile and not guilt or with sadness due to the incident. I have to fight and cross many milestones like these. God Bless Me.

Hard times:

There is a girl and a boy.Both used to like each other and then it turns out into love. They had a really good time though it was a very less time.They found to understand each other and try to not hurt each other's feelings.The situations takes the boy far for good reasons. They agree for certain level of understanding and continue with their relationships.But then the bad luck always play the role. Something goes wrong in the whole part,some loophole or something lacking. But what is lacking? Where did the problem arise? Infact, what is the problem? I still wonder about it.

As taught in management courses lack of communication, sorry i will correct myself "Lack of proper communication leads to huge disaster in organizations", similarly here in social world the law is applicable too. Lack of proper communications can screw up the relations. But then it's difficult when one is not at all ready to talk as well as even don't accept that fact. well, it hurts a lot.Pains a lot, as there is somewhere in some corner a true deep love in the relationship which is not allowing to say or portray anything negative in the situation and always positively asks to give a new chance.

This realation is becomming more confusing. No proper or let's say exact state is there?. If you ask that does that relationship exists currently,it will be difficult to answer. It's like the end of it is not declared as one person can not say things directly or clearly as they are and keep the other person hanging up middle in the error. Sometimes, initially taking care of the other person is found very sweet but then the same thing with the distance, going far and after a time is found annoying and is considered as advice which is not to be heard off by the intended person. Well, this was just a simple example. Many these sentimental things makes this thread rough and difficult to find happiness in it. Thus, when a situtation comes which is a kind of dilema like " the relationship exists or not", it is one of the hardest time to face.

Well, nothing in hands except be patient and tolerant and wait and watch the game of time and destiny. One just prays for the success of the other for all happiness and success. This is a hidden true love. Well, but then also decides not to try anymore on these issues, as self-respect comes into the picture. This shows the bitterness in the relations.

Tough time. Just hope for some unpredictable magic which works to make everything like initial stage makes the survival a bit soothing. well, this reminds me of the famous saying
"Love and not Time heal wounds"

Distance in Relationships:

A distance in a relationship can affect exactly in two ways.One is, the person comes closer to you with a strong and a very difficult to break bond.And second is, the person goes away from you so far that at times you don't feel the need of them being into your life.


When looking at the stage where the pysical distances works as a kind of medication to tear down the abstract distances in the relationships, we talk about the strength of the relationships.The strength increases and as due to the distance you get time to understand the person.It has been like a universal fact that "Entities are most valued in their absence".When the person is away, somehow even the smallest statement made by him/her for you flashes your mind at the given similar situations.You feel the lonely niche in your routine and the life going on, though everything seems perfect by all your effort some sort of unsatisfaction remains which is even though sound strange but may be filled up perfectly even by just a comment or a compliment made by the person who is away from you. You start valuing the person more and more at every point of time. One of the very good example uptill now i have found is about children when in the hostel or dorme value their home and the effort put by their parents to bring up them so well and comforting every moment by helping and being with them at every posible stage which in dorme or hostel is found to be missing by them. Even when you talk about infacuations there are many real life cases in which these turns out into love and then build up themseleves into the very strong relationships when they work out with a distance in a relationship. Well, so distance can also play a major role in bringing people togather and get tied up in a strong bonds.


But now when we talk about the negative impact of the relationships,well this physical distance can act also as a slow poison in the well decorated perfect container of this so-called relationships. The most spiking factor which according to me that comes here is the feeling of being ' ignored ' .Well, with every phase of life and change of place and time, the life-style of the person changes accordingly and that is a natural impact which works out on every person. As this kind of change when happens on only one side of the relationship then it does create these kind of feelings of being ' ignored ' as the situation on the opposite shore is not being understood properly. Sometime, the distance brings out the real qualities of the opposite person in the relation which may not have been visible when you are right next to each other. The another important characteristic that plays another important role is patience and tolerance. At times due to long distance and not enough communications, things do get mis-interpreted and then people tend to loose their patience and tolerance power which end up in cutting-off the relationships.


When i wrote the word relationship, i meant to apply it every relationship a human being can get involved into.This is very much applicable to the children who spent their much of the time in hostel and then that distance may create the impacts in their relationships with the family.It also applies to the two people involved in the relations like marriage, commited or friendship etc.Just, it is in our hands whether to make our relations work like medications or like poison.A bit of undertanding, patience and tolerance can bring out many different colours to this wonderful thread.Just value all the good things of the people related to you and then see how the relations change and fit into the right positions in the game of life of human being.

At the end the quote worth keeping in mind:

"Everything existent on this earth has atleast been gifted by one good quality and not a single thing on the earth is made perfect by God"